Monday, October 24, 2011

Since no one will see this, i am totally awesome... :)

Here are the instructions: The first 3 people to respond to this post will get something made by me! However, there are some rules, which are: 1. I get to decide what it is. 2. But I will keep you in mind and it will be personalized. I'm not going to make you a teapot if you don't drink tea. I wouldn't make a teapot anyway, I have no clue how. 3. You'll probably have to wait until after the wedding. I'm too insanely busy to get it done beforehand. That ok? 4. It can be anything. Maybe I'll paint you a picture (on canvas), maybe I'll embroider something for you, maybe I'll bake you something...It all depends! The catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who do the same on your blog. The first 3 people to leave a comment telling me they will win it forward get a fabulous homemade gift by me! Oh, and if you have a blog, be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Relief and Happiness are Relatives

30 minutes ago, I was slightly (ok, really) a mess; but I wasn't about to show it. I had just opened a can of worms, and there were only two ways that it could turn out. The question "What do you mean by that?" was that can of worms. The two ways it could end: I either lose the girl who has recently become my best friend (one of a few, but the only one that I would date), or I get to go to sleep that night knowing that I am dating my best friend. I acted calm, but I was slightly panicked inside. When the subject came up, I thought things were going south, due to them having gone south so many times before.
I will have roughly what I said not in quotations, what she said in quotations, and my thoughts in parentheses.
We started in, and what a quick relief it was. I asked what she thought. "I think you like me." (Awesome, I haven't been obscure) Then I asked what she was thinking. "I like you." (Good... I'm glad the feeling is mutual!) but... "I'm kind of confused." (Uh Oh, where is this going?) Confused about FS stuff? "Yeah." (Phew... wait...) Like, you don't want to cause a scandal? "Yeah." (ok...) So what do you want to do about it? "I don't know." (May I make a suggestion?" Should we just keep it quiet and low key until FS is over? "Yeah." (Good one...) "At least you don't ignore me in public..." (You are incredible, how could I ignore you, I have to keep myself in check just so that I don't give you too much attention; ignore you, psha) Feel better? "Much." (As am I) " I seem to always pick the wrong guys. You're a breath of fresh air." (As are you, but you don't know that; yet) [more talking] "You're the best." (No, you're the best; never forget that).
So, I go to bed happy, and so relieved. I am now dating the most amazing girl I have ever been interested in, and I couldn't be happier.
I know why I am in this handbasket, and I am on the highway to heavenly bliss, not hell. Now the question is, how long do we last. I personally want it to last indefinitely, because I have never been happier. I hope that feeling is mutual as well.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Oblivious, Fortunate, and Confused

Indulge me as I relate a particular incident that I observed some time ago, and recorded; like a good anthropologist would. I wrote this from my notes, which may cause the tense in which I write to change between past and present. 
At the moment at which I start my notes, there are three individuals in particular that I notice in the larger group that I was studying. The got my attention due to the apparent relationship between the three of them. Through luck, I know some history of the three individuals, and where applicable, I will mention what I know.

Currently, the girl, who is Oblivious (from which I derive her identifier), is displaying publicly her affection for her chosen potential mate, who I will call Fortunate. This display appears to be bothering the crap out of the third individual, a male whom I will identify as Confused; which identifier will become clearer as you progress in the account.


 Oblivious is the common factor between Fortunate and Confused, though it is very well likely Fortunate and Confused would become friends had they met independent of Oblivious.

Confused has been interested in Oblivious since their first encounter, which was several months previous to this incident. Fortunate has been the chosen potential mate of Oblivious for two to three months (depending on your source), and has known Oblivious for nearly twice as long as Confused; though he only became a viable candidate as a potential mate around the same time as Confused. Confused (I discovered once I interviewed him about the incident, after the fact) has not given up his hope that Oblivious may decide that Fortunate is no longer suitable as a potential mate, and go in search of a replacement. Confused hopes that, if this occurs, he can get in and win the attention of Oblivious, which would allow him to take the current spot of Fortunate. Fortunate, on the other hand, hopes that Oblivious will not choose to seek a new potential mate, and stay with him until she feels ready to bear offspring. At the current time, Confused has retreated to the social station of inferior male, and has only been able to associate with what Oblivious as non-sexually motivated interaction; which, he related to me, he is willing to do until his opportunity presents itself. I was able to have a few short conversations with Fortunate, but Oblivious would not comment on the situation.
From previous observations, and first hand accounts, Fortunate and Oblivious are still trying to understand if they see an actual partnership in their combined future; but are pursuing the possibility of such until they determine otherwise. Confused spends supposedly non-sexually motivated time with Oblivious on a regular basis; and both enjoy the others company. I have noted that Oblivious, and to an extent Confused as well, has become more friendly and increasingly flirtatious as they continue to get to know each other. This has become much more prevalent in the days leading up to this incident. Confused has said that he wishes not to interfere due to societal taboos against tampering with established relationships. But, he also mentioned that he occasionally will have trouble if a good opportunity to intercede on his own interest's behalf. Confused has also mentioned that the increase in flirtation by Oblivious, and her references to Fortunate, have created an attitude and feeling of confusion for Confused. Confused is unsure of whether Oblivious is really oblivious or not to the effect of her actions. From my limited opportunities of observation, my best guess is that Oblivious is only partially oblivious; but instead seems to be priming Confused as a back up should Fortunate prove inadequate, and is only oblivious to how effective her priming actually is.

At the time of this incident, Oblivious and Fortunate are displaying affection for each other in moderate amounts. Confused mentioned that he recalls that at this point that he reflected on the thought that, had circumstances leading up to this incident been slightly different, Fortunate's and Confused's positions would have been reversed. As I continue watching all three of them, as Fortunate and Oblivious continue their displays, Confused begins to show signs of illness, as the apparent jealously and angst build up inside, not unlike steam in a kettle. Confused, when later interviewed, stated that this was the most jealous that he had ever felt up to that point in is life. I note as I watch, that I seem to repeatedly catch Oblivious' glances (of which Fortunate mentioned he had no knowledge of) in the direction of Confused, as she and Fortunate cuddle and coo (which Fortunate concluded was most likely the reason for his lack of observations). It seems to me that Oblivious desires to gauge just what kind of reaction her antics produce among her confused (and rightly so) audience.
Oblivious' face seems to communicate a confusion of her own. Though she seems to be enjoying the attention and affection of Fortunate, her gazes at Confused have brought to light an unexpected realization. The growing look of illness and stifled longing that Confused attempts to keep from breaking the surface of his normally happy and congenial demeanor is having an unforeseen effect on her emotions.

At this point, the thought that full disclosure is the best way to keep anyone from getting hurt surfaces in my mind; the product of a anthropologist's worse enemies, conscience and human emotion. I feel the emotional tug of the situation of Confused and I can see the brewing chaos that could ensue among this unsuspecting trio. I want desperately to tell Oblivious (the obvious shot caller of this group) all that I know, from my little perch. I could let Oblivious know to what degree she is affecting Confused. I could extol Confused's virtues and redeeming qualities, on his behalf. Yet, at the same time, I could defend the preeminence of Fortunate's position compared to Confused's. Or, I could suggest to her that she should tell Fortunate and let him know of the Plan B. Or, suggest that she seriously consider both, and decide which she wants; since polyandry is not accepted in her culture. But, then I remind myself of the first rule of anthropological observation: DO NOT interfere or get involved. And if I were to talk to Oblivious, I would be breaking that rule.

I continue to watch the situation progress, as Fortunate continues to establish dominance and ownership of Oblivious' attention and affection. Fortunate later commented to me when Confused's situation was brought to his knowledge that had he known, he would have at the very least, been much more discreet with his public displays of affection, in order to not cause the hurt and pain to a fellow male; which is much to the credit of his character. Confused, apparently not wanting to subject himself to their displays, busies himself with a menial task. When necessity, or desire, compel him to focus his attention on Oblivious and Fortunate, he seems to direct his comments to Oblivious only; unless joking with Fortunate. This continues until the time comes for Oblivious and Fortunate to leave.
At this point, Confused begins to slowly recover from the ordeal. Yet, Confused still apparently feels burned. And, just like it's physical cousin, even after the initial burn occurs, the wound his pride and self image sustained by Oblivious' (and to a lesser degree Fortunate's) hand continues to smolder long after the hot iron she pressed to it is gone.


I have lost track of Confused, Oblivious, and Fortunate; having moved out of their ward at the end of that semester. Though I wish I had a resolution to this situation, I am positive that what ever the eventual outcome of this trio's social interactions was, the best solution for all was reached. It is also my hope that all involved felt fulfilled with the resolution.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Pressure

HOLY CRAP!
Talk about pressure! I took my first exam for Archaeology of the Ancient Aegean and Greece today, and I was totally overwhelmed by it. Not only did it contain things that were not covered in the reading (yet) or in class, but went way beyond what was explained in class. Of the 9 students in the class, I think a great many of us failed that test. I am so scared that I am going to have a bad academic year this semester because of all of these crazy hoops!
Then, on top of academics, I feel as though I am either Derek Shepherd or Finn Dandridge competing for Meredith Grey... yeah, that is right, I am now hooked on Grey's Anatomy thanks to someone I know... ahem. So that doesn't help the stress factor.
And, lovely finances, those suck as well, since I can't seem to find a job on or off campus that can pay more than $7.65 an hour; and I have to study so much just to get mediocre grades apparently, so I can't work as much as I would like or need to. But I think that I can blame Obama for the job issue, since he has no hold on the concept of economic stimulus. Hint hint: It doesn't work if you take the 4 trillion and give it right back to yourself; lower the tax rate for the upperclass, get rid of Medicaid and Medicare and restructure them, scrap social security, and severely cut down the bargaining rights and powers, including lobbying rights, of the unions.
Ok, that was a rant. Sorry, that is just how I have been feeling right now.
Anyway, I guess I am going to get off an get some sleep, since I have to work, go to class, then work my other job, and then write up a whole annotated bibliography about the economic situation of Troy and Athens.
I am so in a handbasket right now...

Friday, February 4, 2011

One of the Greatest Feelings in the World

I have to say that one of the greatest feelings in the world (other than the discovery that you have lost weight by putting on your jeans and having them slide right off your butt) is getting home from an awesome date and realizing that you did alright.
Me being me, I have been on more than my fair share of dates, both planned by me and others. One of the few things I cannot stand is getting home after a date with someone that I am/was interested in and thinking "I really could have done better than I did" or "I rushed that, and learned that 'Haste makes waste'" or the dreaded 'Well, i don't think she'll be returning my calls". Now granted, I have only had one of the last variety mentioned, but the first two, well... in my earlier years, let's just say that it wasn't uncommon for those thoughts to go through my head. I'll be the first to admit that I was not the best at getting the date thing right. Trying to conjure something out of nothing really doesn't work (even God realized that you "organize" matter, you don't "create matter" out of thin air). And rushing tings really just screws you up in the end. I hate it when ancient Greeks are right 1000s of years after they are dead; yeah, I am talking to you Aesop!
But, regardless of if it is all Greek to me or not, I have improved by leaps and bounds. I'm not perfect at the whole date thing, though let's face it, perfect is boring to imperfect humans. I still set off the smoke detector when I am trying to look like I know what I am doing; which I did. I still fumble with things that I am thinking; but when you are out with someone who gets you, it really doesn't matter, because... they get it anyway. I still over analyse like a high school girl on her first date; and consequently, probably miss a good amount of opportunities because I am trying to figure out if it is an opportunity. I still second guess myself on whether I should try and hold her hand; whether the hand brush that just happened was an accident or on purpose; whether or not she is just being nice or really interested.
Basically, I feel totally awesome! It IS the greatest feeling in the world that I have had up to this moment. I don't know if I will feel this way again because of the same girl, though I hope and pray that I will. But if I am not fortunate enough for that joy, at least I will have the knowledge that I managed to have an awesome plan, so I know I can do it again.
The other great thing about this is that when I am sitting in a handbasket wondering where I am headed, I have something happier to think about.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

sdrawkcaB

It is nearly 10:25 AM in London. That would be great if I was there. But, alas, I am not. I am in Provo, Utah, where it is 3:30 AM. I am so backwards on time! Ever since last winter, I have been having trouble with my sleep schedule. I seem to not be able to go to bed at a decent hour. Granted, studying and classes are to blame for some of it, but not entirely. The rest of the blame has to go somewhere. Problem is, I don't know where.
I heard somewhere once that people with high IQs tend to be night owls, and that they do their best work at night. When the rest of the world is dreaming, the smart people are fulfilling theirs. Really gives the term "day dream" a whole new meaning to me. Not to brag, but my IQ is a point or two away from genius level, and I am a night owl, so, who knows, maybe I am destined to come up with some incredible invention or idea. Who knows?
I often go on drives, hoping that the task will help my mind to settle, and allow me to return to my apartment anxious for my warm bed. On these drives, I have no destination, I'll drive on a road until I feel like turning, and for as long as I feel like I should. There is something enchanting about the world at night. While all the hustle and bustle is going on, small details go unnoticed. But, when everyone has left, and there are just a scant few cars sharing the road with you, only street lights and electric signs to change up the monotony, and George Noory (and the crazies who call into his radio show) to keep you company, those little details come to the foreground. You notice all the little bumps and holes in the road, how fast 65 MPH is when you are the only car on the freeway.
I really hope that I end up marrying a girl who is an early bird, so that she can set my internal clock to the right time. But, I have to say, I am sure she is going to love that I am up when we have new borns in the house. She gets to sleep since I am already up.
20 minutes have passed since I began writing. I have miraculously yawned and felt tired for 15 of those 20. I think that I should probably give in to these lovely, and welcomed, feelings.
Yep, I am going...(yawn)...to...(yawn)...fall asleeeeee...(passes out)...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

First in A Long Line

First and foremost, let me say that I know I have ragged on bloggers in the past, but let me be clear; I ragged on the bloggers who make their blog their life. This will definitely not be my life, more of a notebook of observations and thoughts that I have on the random events in my life, and that I notice in the world around me.
As a quite note, about the title of the blog. One of my favorite phrases, for some unknown reason, is "Where is Hell anyway? And why am I in this handbasket?" So, I thought I would title it along those lines, since the attitude of the phrase seems to be the way I quite often see things.
To start off on the right note, I probably ought to layout where I am coming from, and the reason why I see things the way I do. Though I don't think I will have anyone who doesn't already know me reading this, I'll write this out just so that everyone is on the same page. And I'll list it just to make it faster.
Major: Anthropology
Minor: Marketing
Politically: Classical Liberalism (the exact opposite of modern liberals)
Religious: Latter-day Saint
Family: Oldest of 4 kids (boy, girl, boy, girl)
Pet Preference: Dog, totally (though I wouldn't be opposed to having a monkey... they're pretty awesome!) Cats Sucks!
I would say that that would sum up the most basic of influences in my life.
Since this is just the beginning, I think I am going to call it a night, since it is 1:30 in the morning.
There will definitely be more to come, and most of it is going to be my lovely observations with the twist of my point of view.
'Til next time; keep asking the question why are you in that handbasket anyway?